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Monday, August 01, 2005


I had to go to the ER on Sunday morning for a kidney stone. I was in a lot of pain. So my husband took me there to find out what was wrong with me. I thought it was a kidney stone; but I wasn't sure. So I was very scared and nervous on what was going to happen. I had one very mean nurse. She was ignoring me when I had questions and giving me short answers when she did actually hear me. So that brought my nerves up even more. So she was giving me some morphine, I don't know if any of you have ever had morphine. But when they administer it is makes all your nerve endings tense up for about 5sec. while it kicks in. Well I didn't know that at the time. So I started to panic. I asked what is going on, I am tensing up and my neck is so painful I can't hold it up. She yelled at me saying. " I don't know what you are talking about. It has nothing to do with what I just gave you. I don't know what you want me to do. You are fine. You have to calm down." I was of course still freaking out at this point so that the 5 sec. turned into 5min. She just wouldn't listen to me. So she said fine. I will go get your doctor. but I was going to take you to CT but now you are going to have to wait. And started storming off. I yelled back. "What do you want me to do not to tell you when I am in pain?!" She said, No that isn't it. You will just miss your turn at CT if we don't get you down there soon. Then I heard her telling the other nurse or doctor outside my curtain. "I was going to bring her to CT, but now she has 3 new complaints." Hello people, it was 4:00 in the morning. How many people where going ahead of me. And if I had to wait. Oh well, I was in pain, just give me more drugs!!! So then she comes in with more stuff to put in my I.V. It was anti anxiety meds. Then they took me to CT. When I came back I got a new nurse. Thank God. She gave me more morphine and the same thing happened. She being a very nice gentle nurse. Explained to me what was happening. So I wasn't scared anymore. I was so glad she was my nurse now. I was about to throw something at that other nurse. She was such a %!*$#. But now I have passed the stone and am feeling much better. But I hope I never have an ER nurse like that again.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Mood swings

Mood swings.... Why do we have them? Have you ever noticed right before you monthly friend comes to visit you get a mood swing? My mood swings are usually about a week prior or so to getting it, I am really crabby. Then a few days prior I all of a sudden get this burst of energy. I like cleaning, I like keeping myself busy, and I am happy and have a great outlook on life. I wish I could bottle that up and spread it throughout the month. I love the way I feel. Like today for example. I have been pretty down on myself, as usual, and then all of a sudden; tonight I got happy. I started cleaning. I sewed some things together I had been putting off. I actually felt slightly happy. I can only assume I felt this way because I am due for my friend to come in a week. WHY CAN'T I ALWAYS FEEL THIS WAY!!!???? I just hope it lasts for awhile.

Friday, July 15, 2005


Have you ever had an anxiety attack for something really stupid and you couldn't talk yourself out of it? I had one today and it was really stupid. I was on my way to get my hair done by my husbands cousin. Now this is something I have done before. She is also a very nice person and easy to get along with. So there is no reason to worry. Well all morning before I was going to go, I had a stomachache. I thought it might be a mixture of going to get my hair dyed and going to go watch my little baby nephew. (my brothers son) Now I always get a little nervous taking care of him even though his parents were going to be there. They just needed us to keep an eye on him so they could get all the packing done for their vacation. But I still get a little anxiety since I am not that experienced with young kids. Usually I can work my way through it fine however. Now today was a different story. As time grew closer to go get my hair done, the more nervous I got. I couldn't figure out why so it was hard for me to stop it. Finally I just got in the car and went. Half way there I realized I had put my check card and liscense in my other pants. So I called Justin and he had our credit card with him and I was right by his work. So I turned at the next exit and started toward his work. On the way I could feel the anxiety starting to build up. Once I got to his work I was in full fledged anxiety mode. Justin, bless his soothing, caring and nurturing heart, tried so hard to bring me back to reality. I was panicking and having to take deep breaths. He kept saying I could still make it if I left now and everything would be fine. Unfortunitly I was unable to get myself out of the attack in time to make the appointment. We had to call and cancel the appointment. :( To this time I still can not figure out why I couldn't go there. I did end up making it to my brothers to watch my nephew. However it was easier because Justin was there and I new if I had to step out he could watch my nephew by himself. I have previously been on antidepressants and it helped a little for these things. However I really don't want to go back on them.
The point of this post for me is if anyone has any suggestions on what I can do when these consuming anxiety attacks like this happen again. What would or should I do?

Saturday, July 02, 2005


Well I may not be using as much creativity on this blog. But I am finding other projects to excersize my creativity. I have taken up scrapbooking. It is a lot of fun. I am making one for my cute baby girl Maddie. She is such a good model. I have to say it is addicting. Especially when you go to the store to get materials. WOW!! You can't make up you mind with the selection. JoAnn Fabrics has at least 10 isles dedicated to scrapbooking. Then Walmart only has one. But is still fun since Walmart is my church and all. :) Anyway, I am having so much fun. When I am done with this book, I am going to start one for Justin and our wedding reception, and LOOK OUT, I will be going crazy. They have such a HUGE selection for wedding stuff. Well off to rest my mind for tommorrow.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Big Wigs and how they suck.

Sorry I haven't posted lately. I will try more often. I just find it sad that my sister in law Mandi is the only person who visits. :( Thank you Mandi for careing. :)
Anyway...... Have you ever been in a leadership role and you have to deal with big wigs. Meaning the people higher than you? Today I had to. It sucked. They put me on the spot about something and it didn't go so well. I fumbled to an answer and it didn't seem like that was the answer he was after. Not that it was wrong. But I think I misunderstood what he was asking. So I just looked like a fool. I just don't understand why people have to be so intimidating. As a leadnurse I never make people feel intimidated by me. If anything I will give into certain things, just so they don't get mad. I am working on that.
Well I guess I will end for now. I just hate BIG WIGS!!! They suck!

Friday, June 03, 2005


YEAH! I have a 3 day weekend. Today or should I say yesterday was my first day.(since it is now 12:24 a.m. on Sat.) I went to a movie with my friend Sara. Sisterhood of the traveling pants. I give it 2 thumbs up. It was better then I thought it would be. Tommorrow and Sunday my husband and I are going to bum around. I think Maddie is excited to have both her parents home with her. :)

Oh I have got to tell you how funny my Maddie is. Justin and I were taking her for a Midnight walk Thursday night. While we were walking a car drove past. The lights casted a shadow of the three of us on the street. Maddie was so scared of the shadows. She stopped all of a sudden and the hair on the back of her went up. She creeped toward them slowly. But then once the car past she figured out that she was just panicking over nothing. Justin and I were laughing so hard. We decided we could no longer consider her our gaurd dog. No gaurd dog can protect us if they are scared of their own shadow. :)

Friday, May 27, 2005

I got a boo boo :(

Rollerblading should be made illegal for people over a certain age. Both of the times Justin and I have gone out I have hurt myself. The first time I hurt my back because I wasn't use to it. This last time was bad. I hadn't gotten more then 50ft from our main driveway when my rollerblade wheels decided to lock up on me and my body didn't want to stay with them. I went tumbling down and my chin hit the street. I have a big road rash on my chin now. :( I also injured my rt arms bicep muscle. That is now recovering. I have afficially decided this sport is not for me. However Justin doesn't agree. What do you think?